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Today suck. Again.
I feel so hurt. It's like I always gets misunderstood. I'm trying to give my best in this but all I get daily is misconceptions. I'm trying. I'm trying to be your best but neh, I guess it won't happen. It's not even 1 month, and we've been quarelling a lot. You always say I don't do this, I don't do that, or whatever but you don't know that deep down, I really am trying. I don't want to ignore you. You think I'm ignoring you? And now you're ignoring me? It's like every single day we'll have problems. I thought it'll be fine and the day went smoothly, but no. I'm always the one at fault. It's always me. I was only too busy with myself and my friends but that's how I am in school. I am shy seeing you and stuffs but I'm trying. I know you're trying. Definitely more than me. Yeah, IT'S ALL MY FAULT. Maybe. I just suck at being in relationships. Maybe I shouldn't even be in one. Maybe my life's fated to be this way. Today was probably the day I washed my hands off everything. I felt like shit today. There's amaths test tomorrow, and I've not studied. There's a lot of homeworks needed to be completed by tomorrow. I'm having a headache. I'm so worked out. I've people to "entertain" to. I've a project to do. I've a financial issue to handle. I'm so busy. Always. School always make me so busy. MT > Maths > Recess > D&t > Maths > History. Mt was okay. We went to the lab and did our "homeworks" which I've done already so I just slacked there. Maths was horrible. We're learning a new chapter even when we don't understand the previous chapter that we only learnt for 2 days? Ugh. Recess was emotional. D&t was fun but emotional also. mr ngian kept talking about relationships with us and bringing food to class and all. History was fun but no more Mr Shoon. I'll miss you adorablest teacher ever & his lame jokes! Guitar i was already having a major headace and I couldn't handle it. I tried being hyper and random and cheerful but deep down? I'm just so sad. My friends and teachers keep reminding me of my past. Again and again. Went to guitar, panicking over homeworks, projects & tests. I was feeling super tired & I just wanted to have my longest, deepest sleep ever. But, no. Something kept telling me that something wasn't right. I wasn't feeling alright. I kept thinking of you. I kept thinking about why you're ignoring me even when I'm trying my best to talk to you. I feel sad that you don't understand that I'm busy & I've a lot of things on my mind. I smiled at you, I talked to you, but I just felt like you didn't sincerely smiled back too. I was so shy to even look at you in the eye with my friends & your friends around but still, deep inside I still want to talk to you. So badly. Overall, my day? Horrible. With friends? Awesome. Always awesome. I just feel like shutting my eyes, closing my mouth, and just ignore the whole world. Do project > Homeworks. Toodles, love all of you. "Bye guys." πππππππππ ππ« ππ« ππ« ππ« |
