I miss you. I miss you so much. I miss you terribly. I miss you damn badly. I miss your smile. I miss your face. I miss your hair. I miss your hug. I miss your kiss. I just miss you. I didn't get to see him since morning till just now (5.30 pm). I felt bad, intruding his friendships. I felt bad ruining their bond. I felt horrible. I'm a bad person. I don't want to avoid him neither do I want him and his friends' friendship to fail, because of me. I wanted him to be happy but then again, I wonder if I'll be happy. Him getting to be with his friends and not seeing me? I'll be sad. In fact, I was sad. If coincidence did happen, that'll be the only time I'll see him. I was practically praying hard I'll see him but everytime I see his friends, half of me was just giving up. "Let him be with his friends," my heart whispered. I don't know, maybe this is what happens when everyone is too attached to your love. When everyone wants a piece of him. Well, what do you expect from a popular dude like him. I told Liyana throughout the day,"I miss him." I really did. I wanted to see him but then again, I didn't want his friends to talk about him. We practically didn't meet at all, only like when we finished NDP rehearsal and also he finished his Literature class then I got to glance at him but thoughout, I avoided seeing him, mainly because his friends were waiting for him. I just walked away, but deep in my heart, I wanted to see him. I wanted to be with him. Walk with him. Be with him. I bet the main reason why his friends are acting like that is because they crave for attention from him. That's what I was giving. Maybe he's happy, but I wasn't. Throughout the day, I was so upset and I kept thinking about him. Happiness. That's all I want from him. To be happy. I want his friends to be happy. As long as all of them are, I'll partially be too. My happiness isn't as important. I just need them to genuinely smile. When I met him just now, my heart was half happy and half guilty. I didn't want his friends to feel neglected again. I pushed him away to go to them, not because I wanted to. I had no choice. I'd rather his friends be happy. They say that they're fine and all, but deep down, they're not. I know how it feels like. I've been there before. I almost teared up, no, not because I'm weak. I had no more energy to "quarrel" with him anymore. I was super remorseful about pushing him, but all I was trying was to let him be with his friends. I gave up trying to tell him to go back to his friends, not because I literally gave up but because I was drained out. I just wanted him to be with his friends, like I said, I don't mind me not being happy. As long as he is, and his friends are. This is meaningless, from yesterday, we'll just see each other if we'll see each other. P/s, You want him when he's with me, now I give him to you back, you're pushing him to me. He's not a thing that can be passed around. Please, you can just go take him. I'll back off okay. Enough said. iloveyoumuhdizhak 💜💝

DEAR > PE > Maths > Recess > Chemistry > Biology > Maths > Lunch > Assembly > Mothertongue > NAPFA > NDP.

Before morning assembly, I reached school at 6.30 AM today. Izhak just got out off the house at 6.35 AM, so I went in first, mainly because I had a test to study for. So, when in, I was the only one in class doing my maths revision, and in the middle of it, my stomach problem disturbed me. I went to the washroom but there was no toilet paper so I went down to the canteen toilet, yeah, there were toilet paper then when I was halfway through my diarrhea, the lights shut out. It was super dark and eerie inside, mainly because I was alone and it was early in the morning and I heard a lot of stories about that particular toilet. I went out of the cubicle and went in again, like duh, I was having the worst stomach ache. Then like 1 minute after, the lights went out again. I was still having stomachache what so I took the toilet paper and ran back up to level 3's toilet, but when I reached there, I had no more feeling of diarrheaing. But hell yes, my tummy was aching as hell. Ha-ha, bad morning.

Went to DEAR but as usual, my stomachache kept acting up so I went to the canteen toilet for awhile and the lights went off, luckily Farah Dina was there to help. I heard that the school changed the timing to 1 minute. You crazy! If I'm alone, like how i was, then you think in 1 minute I can pee and shit? No. So DEAR was meh, my heart wasn't peaceful. It kept beating so fast. After DEAR, need to go meet Mr A about the NDP rehearsals. I didn't even get to see him even when I knew he was there. Sigh.

Afterwards, we went to PE in the library with E3. When the health advisors asked question, me, Fatiha, Huda and Fatin answered most. So all of us have the "magnet". Ha-ha.

Maths, we went through the maths worksheet and continued doing it. I was half-lost. Throughout the day, my mind was wondering away throughout.

Recess was as usual, recess \m/
He texted me saying,"I miss you taww" then my heart literally skipped a beat. I wanted him but I can't take him. Sigh.

Chemistry was so ultra meh, boring. Eventhough Ms khoo teach ultra doubly milliony zilliony times better than ms tok, i still find the lesson boring.

Biology, mr justin tan didn't come, so we did one question from bio wb then bam, we got lazy. Me & Huda went to the toilet and I attempted to shit but I can't. Hahahahaha 😂

Maths, did test. Screwed the test damn badly. Super screwed it up.

Lunch, ate mee rebus from Noodles Hut. Uh okay la, better than the old noodles hut's one.

Assembly, was learning from a dude name Mr Taufik. He's like a weightlifter and he carries the car and yknow vehicles, like woaaaah. He taught us about self-respect or something.

Mothertongue, we learnt about Narrative writing. Three ways to begin a Narrative writing - 1) Flashback 2) Dialogue 3) Monologue.

NAPFA. Right after class, we went to NAPFA and we ran like before 3E2, we were called the "NDP people". Mwehehe. I was running and Afiq was like one of the sports leader then he was like,"go zee, go" Of course I wasn't able to do anything. So I just smiled and ran off. Halfway through the NAPFA, all I could see was stars and flashes and the worst thing was that, my heart problem acted up. At the same spot. The worst of the worst is that, every single time I stopped running, my chest area will be super duper ultra painful. Like the sharp pain. I was practically holding my chest while running throughout. Sigh. I've a feeling I failed NAPFA.

NDP rehearsal? I dropped my role of being the flag barrier. I joined the Guest-of-Honour contingent and it was ultra fun. Except the fact that Hilman is behind me. I'm behind Fatin. Fatin's beside Huda. Huda's in front of Fatiha. Fatiha's beside me. Hilman is behind me and he keep poking me like asking me whether we have to "bang" or blablabla. Then his voice was ultra loud until I can't even hear myself.

After that, was time to go home. I'm mentally, emotionally and physically drained out. I don't know how many times I've repeated this but I'm just ultra tired and exhausted. Forever alone now. Shall start on my homeworks and finish them, shower, prepare full uniform then sleep or talk to him.

Why is no one at home. It's already 6.30 PM. Where's everyone! 😔

Yeah, my day. Nevertheless, I told everyone to smile because to me, smiling helps solve partially. You should stop frowning, and you, yes you, reading this, smile for me, please. Thank you 😊

P/s, pcube got second for the highest amount of money earned. We got $588! :D