Before I start ranting for today, please bear with my boring part where I explain in detail what I've done for the whole day.

TSR. Yes, today I got picked out for TSR and yes Ms Phang picked me out. Again. So she was praising me throughout and I'm just there like um okay, thank you? She kept on telling me about how I got the leadership and she kept on telling me and forcing me to digest it in my head that I will get A for mathematics. I was like shaking my head and she kept repeating it saying that I WILL get A and she was encouraging me not to give up. Then she talked about how my friends admired me then I just stoned. Then she was saying that Liyana admire me etc. HA. HA. HA. And she said that I handled the Youth Carnival pretty well. Not really but on a sidetrack, we freaking got 2nd in SEC 3! And 3rd in the whole school. Like asdfghjkl right. I know. She asked me about Hapyz because she knew about me and him and this was how it went.

Her: So how's you and Hafiz? Me: *shakes head* Her: You and him not together anymore? Me: *shakes head* Her: What happened? Me: *smiles* Her: What? 😱 Me: He got another girlfriend. Her: Aw, that's okay. How's you now? Me: *nods head* Her: Aw, like that you go find another guy uh! Me: *smiles* Her: Go uh! Me: *stares* Her: Eh wait what am I saying, you should concentrate on studies now.

Awkward conversation with her. I still remember how back then our first TSR, throughout she kept on talking about Hapyz and everything was about him and I'm just like hais, seems like it's all about him. Chey emotional. So, after TSR was PE and we did heartbeat pulse thing and I run okay. It rained but I still ran from level one to level four back to level one to level four again and again. Then stopped again and checked our heart pulse again.

Afterwards, we have Maths. We studied trigonometry for amaths. I swear it's ultra confusing and I was sitting alone in class. So I just blanked out there. Mind was completely blank. We need to do lines again. So I've a total of 180 lines done already. Tomorrow have math test. I shall start studying after this.

Recess was um yeah normal until we went to dance studio and Ms liau allowed us to stay on for awhile and it was so scary to always go back class late and using ms liau's name so she accompanied us back to class which is ultra epic because of our funny white lie. I totally have no role whatsoever in the lie, I honestly don't even know of it.

Chemistry, pon! Biology er, Ivan changed place with me and I had no idea where my notes were so I was practically in class staring blankly on space. Maths, studied again. Lunch in class and then went to ISH and er heard talks and lectures from SP: School of EEE. After which was MT and then we planned for our Hari Raya which is now postponed to 6th September because of the NCCs. Dang it. Cikgu Farah and Cikgu Amran never came so Cikgu Aishah came in and she told us to do a test. Sigh, everytime also have test. After that we rehearse for awhile and then done uh.

Went straight to AVA and we did our rehearsals all the way till 7pm. First rehearsal at AVA then 4.30 must go hall. This is where the drama begins. When it was our turn to sing, Cikgu Maryana was literally screaming at us, singers. Let me separate the rant below.

Rant (Skip if uncomfortable.)
Disclaimer: I mean no insult or harm to anyone in particular and whatever I say may or may not hurt you, so don't read if you're too afraid of being hurt. *bows*

So, when it was our turn to sing, she was screaming her heads off and her lungs out at us. We told her that we've no space then she scold us. The most ridiculous thing was that she kept scolding us like as if we know what to do like that. Firstly, when the song begins, we don't even know what to do. How do we know what to do when no one is helping us out with it. Cikgu Mary tell us to coordinate with the dancers while Cikgu Aishah told us that she'll teach us the steps later. So, we listen to cikgu aishah because she's in-charge of us and no, we don't blame her that we've no steps because we understand that she's really stressed out and busy. That being said, I know all of us have hectic days so, i know cikgu mary might also be feeling tired but why vent your anger at us? She wasn't even in-charge of us all in the first place at all. Secondly, you were like "Good job dancers" and then called us to scold us. Excuse m, not trying to be rude or what but that's hurtful. You say that they dancers did well but honestly, it wasn't that well and of course you praise them since they're under you and us? You scold us just because we don't know the moves? You scold us just because you didn't hear us sing? Cikgu Aishah even got pissed off and scolded her back saying that we've already learn the songs what. Cikgu Aishah was clearly the one who told us that we should just stand there since we've no idea of the steps and she'll teach us soon. Thirdly, it's ultra ridiculous how you're aiming at us all the time yknow. Give us a break, it's so obvious you despise Express students and woah, no since primary school also Cikgu Mary has been ultra rude. She expects us to respect her when she goes around making rude remarks, calling people "Jantan"? That's super rude yknow. Jantan is for animals. Why would you want to call a human jantan. It's pretty much contradicting at how she can just say all that respect stuffs and then next she goes around calling people names. Nice.

End of rant. I can never stop if I start so might as well i stop now before I continue on further. So, after that scolding part, me, Huda, Fatiha and Liyana were all fuming and burning on the inside. We were all containing our wrath trying not to burst. Liyana and Fatiha got pretty pissed and they just talked back to her and me? My mind was ultra blank. I just kept quiet until she said we didn't sing then I told her that we did except that with the song in the background and no mic, how to be heard? After that, all four of us just broke down. Too much to contain. It's unfair how we are trying so hard right here and no one is helping us but all they see is what's the result. What about our school's togetherness or justice? Where's all of it? We totally understand Cikgu aishah's busy and all and no, we don't pester her at all. Cikgu mary, on the other hand, not knowing what happened, is screaming her head off at us. So, yes. We cried. Heart was raging so badly and i'm the type of person who's very straightforward and if I don't like the way you treat others or if i don't like your actions or speech, i'll talk to you until you declare defeat. That's me for you but when it comes to adults, i respect you. I'll just shut up because you're my elderly. So when I shut up, all i can do is bottle it all up and when i'm too tired of it all, i just cry. Cikgu aishah came to ask how we were and i swear Huda almost broke down again.

At the end of the rehearsal, cikgu aishah was "lecturing" all of us. Actually, to be honest, what she said was quite true. Most of us have no sense of urgency, and most are just too busy having little chats among themselves. Dikir barat was totally dead. Dikir barat is not supposed to be that way, it must be filled with enthusiasm yknow. Shoutings and screamings. Engulf the culture and diversity that you own. Be proud of it. Dance was okay except for the dudes and cikgu mary dare say that they did well, mmhm. *flips hair* Modelling was practically them walking down the stage and giving out ketupats to the beat of the song. Singers. Messy as hell. OH MY GOD, HOWWWW. Okay, so all of us were just having our own problems. We'll survive and we'll overcome this challenge!

Major problem tomorrow, I have NPCC and rehearsal. Even if we are all excused from CCA, all of us NCOs are all involved in Hari Raya excluding le min and yuozi. Then, we're not even sure whether they're coming. Omg. Monday, I have health check-up at 8.30am. Can I don't go? I want to go to school 😭 Some more no one's accompanying me there. Sigh. Then there's sports extravaganza, i want to go but i'm like half-hearted in it all. Should i kayak? Or not? Blur.

So, i went home feeling ultra tired and till now I've not studied for maths.

Izhak's birthday
Hi dearest. I hope your birthday was okay throughout the day and I really really apologize for the bad present and card. It's not much but, yknow.. sorry, I'm not rich and I can't get expensive stuffs or branded stuffs for you. THAT MUCH. Also, let's go celebrate one day alright? I so wanted to go home with you just now but you went off and I'm just like, meh over there. I miss you so much yknow. Enjoy your day, see you tomorrow honey. Hugs and kisses. I love you, 😘

Can't wait to talk to my birthday boy. I bet he's tired but oh well, he is. Sigh. I haven't study for test, I haven't eat, I haven't shower, I haven't pray. *clap hands*

P/s, while walking from school, we saw a freaking pad on the floor with blood on it and eww. Can i just vomit right now. Can someone explain to me what the hell is that pad doing over there?! EWWWWW

OK SERIOUSLY GOT TO GO NOW. BYEEEEEE 😉

Have a great day ahead everyone 😁