Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Yes, that's the word to describe him. Ha, who am I kidding. I don't even know the real meaning of the word mentioned above but if I'm not wrong, it means "Atoning for educability through delicate beauty." Ok, woah wait, no link. It's back to him.

Good evening to all the fellow non-existence readers i have out there right now. I'm here typing all these out because 1) I am bored and 2) I need to express this deep thought that I have been having for the past few months when I am with him. Even if in the future something ruins our relationship (obviously I hope not), I'll still look back to this post and never regret being with him.

Now looking back on the 1st of June 2012, exactly at 00:00 hours where I've answered his question to be with him, I don't feel any sense of remorse or regret to hold against myself because as far as I know, I'm pretty much satisfied with having him as my boyfriend. Honestly, I don't even know where to start with this post but I hope that it won't be too untidy to read, as always.

So let's start from the first time we talk. Note: This is not a post to celebrate our monthsary, or whatnot. This is just a post out of random deep thoughts that I have and want to say for the past few months I was with him.

When I first met him, in Secondary 2, and he was in Secondary 1, I was very blown away by him. Truth be told, my first impression of him was "woah". Yes, but I did not develop any feelings toward him even as my friends were all like "Gosh, he's so hot." every single time they see him. Indeed, I just kept a low profile because I was certain that out of all my friends he'd least choose me because if you compare my friends and me, they're like beautiful drop-dead gorgeous people who makes people go wow everyday, and me? Well, I'm just.. me.

So, being in the state of "low profile, I didn't want anyone to get attracted to me then, and so I just shut up. At guitar camp last year when I was left out, I just kept quiet and sticked with my seniors. Apparently H and F chose to "flirt" with him & his clique and left me behind, which I totally didn't mind at all. Apparently, when I first saw him, I knew for a fact that I was non-existence in his eyes and that it was phenomenon that he would choose me last among all my friends, or not, he would rather choose a potato than me. Who knows?

My life totally changed when he followed me on the very weird social network, twitter. Why? Yes, that was the question in my mind. Why was a handsome, attractive, well-liked guy like him following me on twitter. It means that I was noticed by him. So when I saw him on twitter, I slowly noticed his tweets and I realized that "Hey, why are we following each other if we don't talk to each other at all?l" i braced myself up, and talk to him, merely beginning with a lame joke that I always make.

Somehow or another, I was pretty much attracted to him and at that point of time, I was already over my dumb ex. I was yearning to talk to him every single day but, he seemed to get bored of me by the day. However, everytime I was online on twitter, he was always mentioning me, which made me really happy. He even asked my number - making butterflies form in my stomach.

I was waiting for the time the whole day when he would text me because I really wanted to talk to him. Sadly, there were 3 guys who liked me at that point of time, excluding him but I only was attracted to him and him only. I wanted him to be mine so badly and I've no idea why. When F found out about all these people liking me, she kept on guessing who it was. "Is that dude handsome?" *blush* "yes. Very!" "Let me guess, HH?" "I don't know." F didn't gave up asking and asking. As days passed, we got closer to closer and every single day I was trying to visit his class just to see him. I used all the excuse I have just to see him but he was always not in class. Once, at night he got emotional because he felt that I didn't notice him at all but noticed his friends. I was actually quite shy to admit to him that I obviously saw him. He was always there and without him knowing, I was always stealing glances at him.

When school ended, we had 3 days of guitar day camp which meant more bonding sessions for us before he went to Myanmar, and me for my STC camp & Perak camp. For the first two days at guitar camp, I was always searching for him but sadly, I had my own classes and trainings so I could barely see him. The BBQ night was the night where he popped the question. He was super adorable, he kept on asking "are you comfortable" etc and I was just in the bus going home, around 11 plus PM. When he asked me, I was indeed at a loss for words. I was wondering non-stop, why? Why did he choose me? Why? Why did he liked me? Why? Why was I his choice? Why? Then after which I was wondering? What if he left me like how my ex did? What if he gets bored of me one day? What if he doesn't want me after he gets to know the real me? What if he despise me? I questioned him with what ifs and he somehow managed to counter attack me and assured me that I would be fine under his care.

Obviously, I wasn't ready for another relationship. I wasn't prepared to get hurt again. I used another day to get to know him better and made my own choice. On the last day of guitar camp, we were quite stress because I went for NPCC revolver shooting competition and sadly, 2 other girls didn't come. So we were disqualified, obviously we were quite sad. However, he helped me out at Guitar and that made me so pleased to understand that he was responsible. When I returned from the NPCC shootings competition, F kept telling me "I like HH" all the way and I was like,"What?". My heart broke halfway knowing that a guy who liked me was liked by my own best friend. Also I remembered how H said that she wanted HH to be hers and F assuring her saying that HH is older so she might stand a chance. Of course this was another problem that made me in a worse dilemma.

While on the way, Ahmad asked if I was single, and i just smiled. Ahmad then said "why you never tell me earlier, if not i would have taken you." I just continued smiling and said "Take your zifeng la." F was behind and when we reached school, we went to AVA after changing from our NPCC uniform. F suddenly left me alone and find Fi, without telling me and I was there, alone in the AVA room thinking whether or not I want to go for Math class or not. I just sat there in another dilemma and feeling cold when suddenly my Romeo came and sat beside me. I was like blushing and melting inside. Hehehe. Happy girl.

He talked to me and being the usual shy girl I am, always being super shy at first. I just nod and smiled all the way. After which, he went out and I hid inside the guitar store room. He texted me to come out and suddenly Amirah told me to go out and collect food and I reluctantly agreed until I found out that I have to go with him. I was like "Woohoo, God bless me!" HEHEHE.

Being the typical shy girl that I was, I just kept quiet throughout the whole walk to collect our food. But he kept on disturbing me, allowing me to open up to him. Of course I did but he was just too handsome that I was melting throughout. When we came back from that, we saw Afiq and I was thinking whether he was a Chinese. Hahaha ok sorry, sidetrack. Come back, then we helped put all the chicken in each packet. Together. Cute right us? Hehehehehehehe. Ok sorry. Oh at BBQ also he close to me. Jealous? Hehehehe. 😁😁😁

So, anyway, we went to take food and bonded with each other. Aw sweet right? Hehehehe. When it was lunch, F was hitting me when I said i really was single then I just kept quiet. Boyfie told me to sit with him during lunch but I said yes but when I turned, his table was full. But that's okay, he was sitting back to back with me.

After camp was over, I took the bus with boyfie and me & L went to JP to eat LJS. I used it as an excuse to call him to ask him where to get a poncho but actually, yknow, just wanted to call. When L found out about us, she said it was obvious because HH kept staring at me at guitar and was somewhat trying to get my attention throughout. Like the part where we played ice. There was this point of time where SOMEONE wanted to show his abs to me. HAHAHA! Because L said that when I turned SOMEONE pulled his shirt up but I looked away and SOMEONE PUT IT DOWN IN DESPAIR. Adorable much. So, yes.

Then on the night, that night, he went to sleep first and exactly at midnight on the 1 June 2012, i accepted him. I was very very happy that I could finally call him mine.

Apparently, it got sad because he had to go Myanmar while I had to go camp on the 1-3 of June. So on that day, when I went he, texted me all the way till I reach Ubin. Before I left for Ubin, he called and called me sayang in front of his friends and I was blushing throughout. But his phone died on him while he was at NCC course, and so I waited till night. When I finally get back to my tentage, he was already asleep. I texted non-stop wanting him to wake up because I missed him badly and he was leaving Myanmar the day after. So, on that morning, we called each other and he had to go to Myanmar. I was living through hell because at the STC I WAS SUFFERING AS HELL. Then, I went home and suffered from major ass aches. Haha, before I went to Perak, on the 6th, his friends, Ayu, Qusyairi and Haziq got closer to me. I was super lonely when he went to Myanmar and I got ultra happy when I realized that his friends were there for me. Fortunately, I left for Perak on the 6th to 10th, leaving wi-fi but god bless me, the first hotel was high-class and have amazing wi-fi at the lobby and the second one, well the wi-fi reached the room! HUHU.

Everyday I waited for his return and everyday, my phone was so silent. We only talked at certain timings when he had wi-fi. I went for breakfast, lunch and dinner and enjoyed my day with them. However on the 6th, I realized that my twitter was spammed with notifications from everyone talking about our relationship. Apparently, I've forgotten that I've changed our relationship status and EVERYONE YES EVERYONE WAS ULTRA SHOCKED.

Actually I also couldn't believe it that he was mine. He talked to me and when I reached back Singapore, I was alone. I felt lonely and sick every single day. He was supposed to return but he returned a day later which made me very sad. I realized how much I miss him even though we weren't that close. When he finally returned, I WAS VERY MUCH ELATED. I MISSED HIM SUPER BADLY even if we weren't close at all. (I know weird relationship, right?) So, he told me to meet him when he went for Friday prayers, and I obviously was very shy because I knew it would be very awkward as we've not talked properly for half a month but we're in a relationship.

I left the house and met him up and he was just so ultra nice and kept on telling me to sit. But obviously, my insecurities arose when he was there because he was too hot and skinny while I'm there, like a freaking fat ass with all the pimples on my face. When I found out that Nurina was indirecting to me all these while, I went home to interrogate on it. Despicable. Haha, but after all these, HE, YES MY BOYFRIEND, actually stood up for me and talked to her to back away. Those actions of him made me so touched and appreciate him more. I was in fact thinking, God has indeed blessed me with a very nice guy. Amin.

Obviously, every narrative always have a plot twist. I found out that he was easily jealous. He was jealous that Q was always talking to me. At that point of time, instead of feeling angry or upset over his jealousy, I was actually giggling and smiling from ear to ear. Why? Because NOT EVEN ONE GUY has ever fought with his own "best friend" to fight over me. He expressed his love to me and proved to me. I was in fact very much taken aback.

I didn't want them to fight and all those that's why i've been telling him to go with his friends. However, as days passed we became way closer and his love for me keeps increasing by the day. I love him so much and I never ever would want him to ever be apart from me.

We went out together more often and it made us more closer and bonded with each other more. He was the one for me. The love of my life. The stars of ny night. The person who narrates my whole story together with me. He was the dude that I have yearned for the past few months. I am grateful to have someone like him.

When I was on my menstruation and had daily PMS moments, he kept calm and understood me. He didn't made my heart boiled at all. In fact he was the one who calmed me down and even though I was screaming my head off all the time, he just kept calm. Even when I was on my stress period where all I see was red red red! I kept wanting to scold everyone. But I everytime feel so blessed when he is here with me.

I have after all a whole lot of problems that he himself is not aware of up till now, but I sure do not want to disrupt his life with all my complains.

He attempted to make me feel disgusted by his scar once, but it failed. Looking at him getting this major impact in his life had made me so aware that everyone do have mishaps and problems to themselves. I was willing and determined to take good care of him. I wanted him to be mine forever and I am for sure certain and confirm that he is mine. For now, for the past, for tomorrow, and for years to come, forever, just.. for the rest of my life.

I love you, Izhak. I love you and you only. I may not be that "old" or matured enough to understand what is love but as of my age right now, I do feel loved by you. You shaped me and guide me through my life. You're always there for me, and honestly, that's all that I need. For you to be tere for me.

With this, I end my speech. Chey, joking. There's more to come about him, just stay tune alright.

NAH KISSES FOR EVERYONE 😂 JOKE. NO!

Kisses for you my dear, 😘