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❝ZAREENAH❞
I FEEL BLISS
I'll be who you don't expect me to be
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Hurtful.
Saturday, December 8, 2012 @ 8:12 AM
The reason why I have a blog and don't share my link to my friends or anyone who I know is because I don't want to get judged and what is wrong with being judged? Everything.

It's hurtful how even your close one don't wish to listen to you talk about how you're being hurt when someone judges you.

Here, let me tell you something. There's a reason why I don't go online and tweet anymore. In fact, I let people voice out for me. I'm kind of tired and sick of all the little things done & said by me & you know what I get in the end? Insults.

Why do I always feel so scared? Why do I always try so hard? People just don't understand that when someone is insecured, they will tend to hate themselves and they will make sure they're not going out. They're making their life empty. I'm one of those type of people who'd lock myself up in the room the whole day just to run away from those critics.

Why? Because I was raised up being judged and verbally bullied. Can someone here stand up for me and tell me why being bullied is hardcore and painful even on the inside.

Somehow all of this doesn't even matter anymore because once you're being judged and verbally bullied, your whole world comes crashing by.

When some people stand up for themselves, they always get disagreements and shits. Why can't everyone for once understand the feelings they're having in them. Maybe one day, they should try being in others' shoes.

I'm so hurt right now that I'm crying super badly and bawling my eyes out because right now even the one closest to me is turning their backs against me.

I'm alone now, aren't I? All alone.

Physically, everyone's here. Verbally, everyone's here. Mentally, everyone's here. Emotionally, they're all somewhere else. I'm all alone. I am.

Nobody understands how it's like to get bullied since early childhood. No one. The reason I don't tweet all these? people will say "attention seeker".

When the only person that you can pour out your entire feelings to won't even listen to you anymore. Well, that's the end of my life. Yes, I'll just start this "cooping up in my room, alone" again, like how I was, way back.

MY HEART'S IN A HUGE PAIN RIGHT NOW. No one actually believes what you say anymore right? No one. Seriously. Goodnight.